Oh man

[serrure]

Hi, I'm not dead--I feel like this sentence is starting to become a pattern, by the way and for that I am sorry--I've just been trying to take a break from Tumblr/LJ if only to finish up apps for Grad School, I've got one under my belt and I have two more that need to be completed soon.

Also taking the GRE soon, which night terrors and anxiety do abound about it, admittedly. I'm going through my friends' list and cleaning out a lot of communities so I just have my friends left over because really and truly I love you guys and it's the only reason I stick with lj despite all it's flaws and bullshit.

I'm not doing so great on the fandom front, because for some reason, I guess anxiety, a mild bout of "OH GOD I WON'T GET INTO ANY GRAD SCHOOLS EVER" are doing a number on me creatively and I just can't write for the love of anything really.

Joining up some writing challenge communities, but my fic-writing is so fickle forcing shit comes out badly sometimes. Ahahaha, my shitty life problems. I still need to beg/cry/yell at people for status about my loan and such. Christmas this year is just arlkjsd.

Got into Walking Dead, starting to get into Assassin's Creed it's not hard for me to start games, it's finishing them really, finishing up PSYCH, gonna finally watch Sakamichi no Apollon, Psycho Pass, and catch up on Project K and Magi. It's not that I don't have the free time it's just my mind is rotting when I'm not in school and I don't do anything.

...If that makes sense lol.

Anyways, love you lj, stay sassy and classy. Also this should be the first entry I'll start cross-posing to DW, if you haven't added me or I haven't added you, let me know!

Comments

[skew_whiff]

Hey you! Glad to hear of your ongoing non-deadness. (And also that you're on DW now; it's so much more functional than LJ is these days, but still way too quiet.)

My sympathies with the grad school thing - I was in exactly the same place a month ago, finishing off my applications. Huge relief to finally get it all sent off, but now there's still many long weeks of trying not to panic and convince myself that none of them will want me. Who have you applied to, if you don't mind me asking?

The GRE's no big deal, anyway, at least I didn't think it was. The maths bit is the trickiest part - or it was for me, anyhow - but that doesn't matter particularly if you're doing an arts subject, I'd imagine. Just read up on the kind of questions they ask to familiarise yourself with it; I seem to remember that number2.com's advice was pretty useful.

[serrure]

SKEWWWWW! I've noticed, I've noticed--I feel bad for judging DW a bit because I'm a snob and was extremely loyal to LJ but ahah it's fuckery is amazing. To be honest? I feel like a lot of people don't have the patience for journals in general anymore this is the age of tumblr and whatnot, instead of doing all the complicated html and such. Which...makes me really sad? I feel like we miss out on a lot more but I can't really talk I've got a twitter app on my phone and it's loads more convient and less cumbersome and I've taken refuge in the simplicity. Not the same though. Never the same.

It's nerve-wracking right? I'm trying to motivate myself on completion if only because in the back of my mind, I keep trying to self-sabotage myself--the temptation to just skip all this work and enter the workforce is pretty great, but I know, the job market for my degree is laughable so I must go on. You have no idea how relieved I was to read your response because I'm like super stressed, it's amazingly difficult to just remind myself 'hey, you're not THAT bad off even if you don't have THAT many extracurriculars'.

Oh I've already sent in an application to my alma mater, the University of Texas at Arlington, but unfortunately I don't know if they have all my documents, I was hoping to email tonight but my computer's been on the fritz so I'll have to do it first thing in the morning (read:in a few hours). I'm also sending out apps to University of Illinois at Chicago, and the University of Chicago, I wanted to go apply to Northwestern University as well since they're International Relations program is top-notch according to a professor of mine, a former Sovietologist, but unfortunately the app fee is killing me since Student loans and a fucking car payment are around the same time and jfc, why do I owe so many people money, I still have to help my family out with bill paying so it's just...it's incredibly annoying I guess? Because that school is amazing but I can't app cause I don't have the fee, really? just the crazy thought at the back of my mind--what if I don't get in, what if that was the ONE school I could've gotten in.

I took the LSAT, so I'm trying to compare it to that but al;sdkjf that makes me feel a lot better reading. I'm not that great at math myself so I'm worried about that for the most part, I haven't started studying yet and I'm taking it on the Dec. 10th, I hope you don't mind me asking, but did you have any websites you used to practice on? I'm picking up a few books from the used bookstore sometime this weekend but I'd love some recs from someone who took it already.

[skew_whiff]

Yeah, I've been having this conversation a lot over the past couple of years or so, but it does look like journal sites are on their way out (or rather, LJ is, and a chunk of fandom with it). Which is a shame - Tumblr's fun and all, but you can't really have conversations, and sometimes you want to respond to things at greater length than a reblog or an askbox comment will allow. I'm just glad I made a good group of friends on LJ long before it all started falling apart.

Don't enter the workforce - I've been working for the past two years, still in a shitty barely-above-minimum wage job I could've done without any training, because my BA ain't worth shit when it comes to employment. The lack of stimulation gets to you pretty fast; I can't wait to get back to doing something where I'm using my mind, rather than my ability to answer phones and carry around boxes.

App fees are a pain, though; after months of being pretty thrifty, suddenly it's all hitting me at once with those, and council tax, and winter heating, and sodding Christmas - I haven't checked my bank balance lately, and honestly, I don't think I can bear to right now. I'll find out when my bank starts sending angry letters.

As for the GRE - seriously, if you're good with words (which you are), the verbal and writing bits aren't too bad. As for the maths, number2.com was good for telling me what kind of questions get asked, and as for just generally brushing up on my maths skills, I found Khan Academy really, really handy. It goes through everything from the very basics to college-level stuff, divided up into little chunks, all explained in a really clear, well-paced way. I didn't use most of it in the test, but seeing as I'd forgotten almost everything beyond basic arithmetic, it was really handy.

[zombrification]

Ooooh, cross-posting! Hooray! Though it feels new to comment to you under this name, where I've got less icons and what not. ANYWAY.

I love you. Good luck with the GRE and applying to places and YOU CAN DO IT and I wish I could write, too. Bah. I miss it but I feel so bleh from life. COMPLAINING IN YOUR POST, WHOOPS.

[serrure]

I FEEL SO IN THE LOOP WITH THIS, ahaha right right? I'm like...I HAVE A HUNDRED SOMETHING ON LJ, THIS IS HARD TO ONLY HAVE 15 AGAIN WHAT DO. SO I've been putting off getting more icons because I suck and overthink icons and what people will judge me for having lol.

Aww, I love you too bra, thank you thank you, I'm just like super stressed out and everything comes out jumbled or I grow bored and I try to psych myself out but I suck blahh blahh. I honestly think it's just if I got these apps out of the way, I'd be a 500% more able to focus. PFFT IT'S FINE I'M COMPLAINING CONSTANTLY, YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT, I'M SORRY.