There's a Fire inside

Oh wow, ok I didn't mean to go on hiatus for such a long time, admittedly it wasn't so much disconnect as it was that I'm going through that post-undergrad funk (yes still, I don't think it'll really stop until I start grad school). I've been mostly on twitter, since I feel like it's easier to distract myself and if I'm really honest, I'm just about DONE with tumblr as far as everything goes (it's probably super obvious with the way I just stack up my queue and then leave).

( I'm putting most of this under a lj-cut cause wow yeah )

But I guess besides all my bitching, there's also been some positives that have happened in my year off though so I can't really complain. I mean fishandcheese visited during spring break, it was fun and great to see that we could all hang out and be amazing. We just sat around and watched things mostly, ate a lot too, and idk, it's just great to meet up with people offline and find they are absolutely as amazing as you thought they were. I wish I could give a detailed report, but honestly it was just us chilling, mostly with ochibi_glomper and kamachiono.

Guys, Fish is so fucking rad and we took purikura together--MULTIPLE ONES--and I can't even begin to describe how cool she is and wow this is going to turn into a love letter of bromantic proportions.

Also got to know a few people a lot better too, psst, spirograph I'm looking at you. Actually in terms of meeting people, except for a few exceptions, I've met a lot of new great people lately. So I guess another positive.

I've also been able to spend a lot more time with my friends, all in the process of ending school or looking for jobs themselves--it's strange but I know they're all leaving soon, so this year with them has probably been the greatest thing since well, ever. I think I can honestly say, this is the most time I've spent with kamachiono and zr841 since high school. Driving around DFW, eating at random Waffle Houses at 5 am and talking about yaoi manga, our lives, what the hell is up with Sweet Pool all serve as great distractions.

Another positive is with all the free time, I've been able to catch up on all the manga/anime I've wanted too, and I finally, finally got to play Dramatical Murder in English thank fuck because interactive text hooker is on it's last leg and none of the translated dialogue makes sense anymore and uh, am pretty on top of all the series I wanted to be.

I've also read so much yaoi at this point, I'm both mystified and almost horrified at the amount, I literally stopped adding them to myanimelist/counting because it was just that SAD. I would go WEEKS reading up on different series, the longest one month because this mangaka had just about all her works translated into English and I just was about that bored so I read like ALL of them.

...I can't actually tell if that's a positive or not.

Anyways, I suppose I should be grateful for a lot of things, I still have a house, I still have a stable family, my father's pleased about his new job so far, my brother and sister are settling out of their crazy stage for the most part, and well, I'm getting used to taking my own problems in stride, I'm getting less reliant on people. Which I suppose is both good and bad, considering who I used to rely on the most and the gradual fallout.

At the very least, my best friends are with me still, and ochibi_glomper is going with me to the Philippines. If she actually remains my friend after this entire trip, it will be a god damn miracle considering how much of a fucking shit show my father's side is.

I guess the lesson in all of this, I can give myself is, at least now I know what I definitely DON'T WANT and that is something that gives me way to much free time. Honestly I'm my own worst enemy at this rate.

And leaving on a positive note, finally, finally got a Gintama cosplay group together, you don't understand the severity of my words, I've been wanting this for YEARS.

Since before war fandoms and comics, since like freshman year of college.

It's happening, and I can't even deal.

Hopefully I can also get a Shingeki group, though so far the local cosplay scene looks super whack so ahaha who can even tell anymore.