第5話

Jun. 13th, 2017 07:43 pm
chriek: (やらないか)
[personal profile] chriek
I've let so many people mess with my head that it's a wonder I haven't forgotten my own name. Even the therapist I went to manipulated me into believing I had misidentified my own trauma and that after leaving Landmark I didn't need to talk about it anymore. But lately I've been remembering that I was a different person before Landmark. No, "remembering" isn't really the word. It's more like I've noticed that I keep repeating that thought that in my head. "I wasn't like this before." And reading the section titled "Hang on to your hats folks, this is a long, sad story from an insider" from here further clinched it for me.

I used to be angry at my father. There was guilt but there was also bitter dislike that I blew up and showed when he provoked me. If you'd told me then that he was a sociopath I probably wouldn't be that surprised - pissed, but not so torn up over it. Because I never doubted myself then. I felt guilty for hating him but angry enough to assert myself against his bullshit. (It's probably why he got on me to do the Forum.)

This has stopped being about him.

This went all over the place and is probably not great reading. )

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